There are few conjugal duties I take more seriously than the escorting of a beautiful woman through the surging sea of testosterone that is an orthopedic convention. There were at last count some 15 000 members of the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons, 105 of whom are women, among them my wife. Imagine Meryl Streep at a meeting of the French Actors' Guild and you will approximate my situation.
It was in this pitch of devotional fever that I found myself waiting for a three-hour lecture on diseases of the tarsal navicula, with my altogether-too-attractive, and overdressed, bride. As the lecture hall began to fill with the scent of Aqua Velva, I decided to seize the remaining few minutes before class time to drill myself in the subtle maneuvers of Tae Kwon Do, as is my daily discipline. Occupying a side aisle and attentive lest anyone stumble into one of