Transidyne General have taken an unprecedented leap backwards and developed an electronic acupuncture kit (EAK) for those stubborn cases that won't respond to reason or surgery.
The EAK consists of six tungsten carbide needles mounted on a handy wrist carrier. Insertion time is minimized by prior collimation of the insertion points with the landmark delineation voodoo dummy (LDVD), which is available in a variety of colors.
Cables are also provided for connecting the needles to the Modulab stimulator, a Western variation of the classical technique.
Other items in the kit include a 45-caliber... silver bullet for biting, and an optional ethanol neuralgia suppressant for procedures proving intractable with the bullet method.
Unfortunately no further details are available, as the Transidyne design team were last seen amidst a pile of empty neuralgia suppressant bottles.
We don't believe that story.